Emotions...

OK, here we go, I have decided that if I am going to have this damn blog I should use it right?

I think you all know by now about the wonderful Deanna, a woman who has stolen my heart in every way possible. A woman who has shown me what love truly means and a woman that I will be spending the rest of my life with.

I have been struggling this last week or so with my emotions, we have spoken about them all and in the most part, it turns out that I am just feeling a little insecure, not in a bad way, in a " i am so close to everything that I have ever wanted, what if it is suddenly taken from me " kinda way...being 4,624 miles away from the woman you love is not easy.....not easy at all.

So, in a bid to tackle my emotions I thought it would be a good idea to do something I have never done before. Take the time to read all of her blog (not just the new stuff), you know, to try to learn more about her, her journey through life and what has led her to this point of loving me.

Was it a good idea....yes and no. I have learned lots of new things about the emotions she was feeling in the time before we ever met, I also learned a few things that I was not really expecting to read. Now don't get me wrong, we have had in-depth conversations about each others pasts and experiences, some easy and funny to listen too, others not so.

So what did I learn today......I learned the name of one, and, how she felt about another...Ugg!! Now I know that we have all had past experiences and that we have all done crazy things when we are not at our strongest, emotionally. I was just not expecting to learn as much as I did, or put it another way, I was not expecting this to be still in my head enough for two, very small pieces of information, to bother me.

It does not change anything about how I feel about her....I LOVE HER, wholeheartedly, it's that sometimes, just sometimes, the thought of other people, well it just gets to me at times.

I guess this is what happens when your heart is filled with a love that it has never experienced before, when your heart just needs to be close to that person every day for the rest of your life.

I know that I am being silly, I know that I am letting my emotions get the better of me and I know that when I talk to her about this, all will be OK.

Do you know why?...because she listens and she understands

and that, is why I love her so much...